When I Feel All Of It Falls Out Of Place

Tick..tick..tick..

 

Its early morning, sun has yet not come out. The sky is darker than the night. I can hear strange noises, but unable to decipher any. Twisting and turning in my bed, it’s too cold for me. The heater is not working, I guess. My mind is getting numb. I am getting numb. But my surrounding seems to be turning in motions. Someone please stop the clocks ticking. Why is the wind chime on my window jingling unnecessarily? Catch the flying curtains, tie them up. Oh! Come on stop staring at me, yes, you hung there on the wall. I wonder, don’t you get bored? It has been there, for ages. I a movable entity, i feel struck, here in this middle of chaos.

My world so colorful, i wish it was black and white. When the pieces of this color break and melt and mix, it makes such a mess. I hate me getting dirty. But then who really loves me? My parents, i feel so sorry for them. They actually deserved a better child. I am guilty. They are lovable; I do love them, respect them and am proud of them. They feel similarly for me, that’s the real problem. If only they knew about me. They would despise me. I have failed to understand, their liking for me. They ignore all my faults, accept all my failures, cherish tiniest of my achievements and above all love me unconditionally. It’s so frustrating; to get things you aren’t entitled to. It is a forced gift. And am not fond of gifts in general.

Hey! Stop biting me, you little mosquito. Now I can’t remember, what was I thinking about? These strings of thoughts they really snap out quick. It upsets me, makes me feel helpless, as if am capable of nothing. The sun has still not risen. Why can’t i fall asleep when i really want to? Somebody please stop the tick –tick- tick- tick…

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