They say that the inner beauty is the real beauty. But do they mean it? At the end of the day, everybody out there judges you with your outer appearance which has nothing to do with your inner beauty. A girl shares her story of the Facebook page of Humans Of Bombay on how she was body shamed her entire life, and an incidence changed her perspective.
“I’ve always been independent. I moved out since the age of 16 to study and work and become financially independent. It was when I was here working in Bombay that my dad became completely paralysed and that incident affected my entire family massively. He couldn’t even speak — I used to miss talking to him and listening to his advice.
It was during this time at college that I used to weigh 95 kgs. I also had these white spots all over my skin, but I never paid too much attention to my outer appearance until people around me made me think about it. My parents have never ridiculed me — they only asked me to be careful for health reasons, but I was body shamed only for my outer appearance outside the house.
I still remember it was Ganpati Visarjan and one of my colleagues looked at me and said, ‘what are you doing here…isn’t your Visarjan happening there?’ and people laughed at his joke, but I felt so hurt. I tried to lose weight by joining a yoga class, but the teacher there said – ‘first lose weight and then come back…you won’t be able to do these advance Asanas.’
I feel that at every stage, people enjoy reminding you of your flaws and somehow their validation is important for us — it was for me too. I went through having low confidence and feeling conscious of everything about me. So, I started travelling a lot around this time — I would take solo trips just to discover things about myself and help me gain a new perspective.
It was during a trip to Hampi that I sprained my leg and had to be rushed to a hospital in Banglore. The doctor’s told me that my weight would be an issue for my leg, my bones could become weaker and it would become very painful for me to walk.
I decided to take this seriously and over the next one and a half years did everything in my power to lose weight, eat right and become healthy. My friends and family were so supportive and encouraging and before I even realised, I had lost 20 kgs. It was then that I realised, that the weight would come and go but how I felt about myself shouldn’t waver based on how I look physically or what people have to say.
The most important part of my journey was the fact that I wanted to lose weight for myself; to be healthy. I stopped allowing others to validate how beautiful I felt. I started honing my passions. Ofcourse I’m a foodie — so I started cooking once a week ‘healthy’ dinners at home for my friends and eventually moved to having food stalls and participating in culinary events.
I love outdoor yoga — so every single day I workout in that form because I enjoy it…and yes, I can do all the difficult Asanas. In fact, I even train people on my own! I absolutely love my job and I don’t think I’ve been more comfortable in my skin. I’m not skinny from any angle, but I feel beautiful on every level and once you start feeling that way, others see it in you too.
People have stopped body shaming me because it would fall upon deaf years — in fact, I keep receiving compliments about looking good because I’ve stopped searching for validation — I finally found it within me.”